Ah, yes. The Masters. A tradition unlike any other… except maybe your annual spiral into dehydration, poor decisions, and yelling “LET’S GO!” at the TV like your voice changes anything.

To prepare for the magic of Thursday, we present:

CJ’s 2025 Masters Drinking Game – an absolutely deranged, deeply unserious way to watch the classiest event in golf while behaving like it’s Spring Break in Augusta.

GROUND RULES:

• Use your beverage of choice: beer, bourbon, seltzer, ranch water, boxed wine, whatever gets you through the weekend.

• Don’t play alone unless you’re emotionally prepared.

• And for the love of Arnie, hydrate like someone who’s trying to survive until Sunday.

TAKE ONE SIP WHEN…

• You hear “a tradition unlike any other” for the 100th time and it’s not even lunch.

• A player backs off a shot because of wind, pollen, or a phantom squirrel.

• They show a leaderboard graphic from like 15 years ago like it’s a war memorial.

• Someone uses the word “patron” instead of “fan” and you remember Augusta is its own country.

• A golf ball does a full-on Nascar loop around the cup but doesn’t drop.

TAKE TWO SIPS WHEN…

• A shot lands in the water and the announcer says, “Oh no…” like someone just proposed too early in a relationship.

• A golfer yells at their ball, as if it’s their ex.

• Someone hits a putt, immediately walks it in, and it lips out.

• The camera cuts to a random old guy in the crowd who hasn’t blinked in 30 minutes.

• A player hits it OB, and the broadcast crew gets weirdly philosophical about it.

FINISH YOUR DRINK WHEN…

• A player holes out from the fairway, and you yell “LET’S GO!” like you personally taught them how to do it.

• There’s a rules controversy, and suddenly everyone on Golf Twitter becomes a lawyer.

• A player snaps a club or throws a club, and you pretend it’s not the best part of your day.

• A random international player you forgot existed goes birdie-birdie-birdie and takes the lead for 30 minutes.

TAKE A SHOT IF…

• Someone makes a hole-in-one, and the gallery reacts like Tiger made a par putt.

• A first-time player goes 5-under through nine, and you panic-Google their name.

• A group is put on the clock, and you suddenly become a staunch advocate for pace-of-play reform.

• There’s a weather delay, and the commentators fill 45 minutes by ranking pimento cheese.

• Any player hits a shot so bad it makes your swing look reasonable.

SUNDAY BONUS ROUND:

• If two players are tied standing on 12 tee, everyone stands and drinks in complete silence.

• Someone dunks it in Rae’s Creek? That’s a waterfall chug.

• If there’s a three-putt inside six feet, pour one out for your betting slip.

• If the green jacket ceremony ends with awkward small talk and no one knows where to look, take the biggest sip of the weekend.

Friendly Reminder:

The Masters is supposed to be elegant, quiet, and prestigious – so what better time to behave like you’re tailgating a college football game at 9am?

Drink smart. Or at least don’t post about it until Monday.

-C